If I Were You.--- Sicilian Quatrain.
Upon a sunny day in the garden
When I was digging happily away
Old Ted next door said `beg pardon
I hope you dont mind what I say.
I should never dig if I were you
You`ll have an awful bad back
I did exactly the same as you too
And had to be stretched on a rack`.
I thought I`d have a go at the weeds
And ransacked the shed for a hoe
Ted said `you need a weedkiller feed
Then the weeds will no longer grow`.
With a box of petunias ready to plant
Said he `there be ground frost tonight`
I was going to plant but now I shant
For as always the old buggers right.
So grabbed instead the watering can
He said `it will never reach the roots
A hose is best when there is no ban`
So I drenched him from head to foot.
`I Dont Believe It.`
`One foot in the grave`